If you are a true Astros’ fan, you must give up now

This is an appeal to all true Astros’ fans. It is very important that you abandon all hope from now until the end of the season. Stop dreaming about the playoffs. Stop patting this 2016 team on the back, and stop singing its praises. If you really want to be a true fan, you must stop being one.

You see there is this pattern that becomes very apparent when you look closely at this Astro season. This team is a bunch of contrarians. Whichever way the fan base blows, these stubborn blades of grass bend the other way. Don’t believe it? Well here are some examples.

Coming into the 2016 season after an unexpected run to the playoffs, through the Yankees and within a few outs of whacking the World Champion Royals, the fan base was ripe with optimism. With Dallas Keuchel, Collin McHugh and Lance McCullers Jr. anchoring the rotation, they just needed a little help from Mike Fiers or Scott Feldman or Doug Fister to improve. The bullpen was totally set now that they had the big armed closer Ken Giles at the back. On top of that, having Carlos Correa with most of a season under his belt, improvement expected from now uninjured Carlos Gomez and minor league help from Tyler White a much better offense was expected.

So what happened?

  • With all that full flown optimism, the team stumbled out of the gate like Joe Hardy turning back into Joe Boyd at the end of Damn Yankees. Keuchel’s loss on May 2nd dropped them to 8-18 and led many to bad mouth the local nine.
  • So, of course the team then went on a nice little 9-6 run and really started generating some offense leading to a 17-24 record on May 18. The local folk of course became much more optimistic at that point.
  • A four game losing streak, including a sweep by the Texas (this space for rent) where the team scored only 5 runs and lost three straight 2-1 games dropped them to their low point for the season at 17-28. Fans were abandoning ship and calling for the manager, general manager, batting coach and the MMP custodial staff’s jobs.
  • This then led to a 37-20 roll through the next two months as the Astros were the hottest team in baseball and nudged up within sight of the Texas (this space for rent) team. Folks were rejoicing and writing limericks about their ‘Stros.
  • Losing 11 of the next 14 games, changed the limericks from odes to obscenities. But….
  • The fans found some life after the team won 4 in a row against the Twins and Jays, however the life was snuffed out of them when…
  • The team lost the next five, which left them one game over .500 at 61-60, ten and a half games behind the (this space for rent) for the division lead and six and a half out of the second Wild Card Spot. Funerals were held for the season, but nobody cared enough to attend.
  • The obvious reaction to the fans starting to look at the off-season or watching pre-season NFL games was that the Little Engine That Might (as long as no one was caring about them) ….all of a sudden Could. They went on a 10-2 run that has brought them to the brink (1 game back of the 2nd Wild card) of a playoff spot.

The natural reaction is to praise this team, talk up the heroics of Correa, Evan Gattis, George Springer, Jose Altuve, Keuchel, Giles, Devenski, etc. Well stop it. Just stop it right now. Go back to questioning their heart, their crazy swings, the short outings by the starters, and the home run launches against the bullpen. No matter what happens, you must show that you doubt them, that you have given up, that the task is too impossible.

It will take all your focus, pessimism, cynicism and any other -ism you can muster to not get behind this team. But you have to become steadfast and drive this team to the finish line by not supporting them. It is the only way.

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255 responses to “If you are a true Astros’ fan, you must give up now”

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  2. Virginia Rogers husband was named the PCL pitcher of the year for MILB!!!!
    Good on ya son!! We’ll see you next year in OUR rotation!!

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  4. Good…..bad…..or…..ugly, they are still my guys! Gripe and moan all ya want to but I’d still rather hang with this baseball team, rather than watch football….any day of the week!

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      • Oh, is that the Texans playing the Cowboys? It’s the third quarter and the Cowboy announcers haven’t spoken about who the Cowboys are playing. They showed Bill O’brien once and talked about him playing in the Ivy League and they’ve talked about Weeden because…….wait for it, yes, he’s an ex-Cowboy! I do know that the other team is leading the Cowboys, but there hasn’t been one mention of any of the other teams players.. After five minutes of a Texan’s player laying in the middle of the field, the announcers mentioned his name as he limped off. I just turned the sound off and watch only as they show a play and then go for an interview on the Cowboy’s sideline.
        I guess it’s going to be like this when the Sooners take on that high school squad Saturday. I will be rooting for the Cougars all the way!

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  8. Ahh, Sept 2nd, when we wait to find out all the players who will be cut from our football team, and all the players who will be added to our baseball team. What a day!

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  9. There is some logic to this post. I did want to highlight something Diane brought up the other day – Gattis was quoted as saying the Astros are relishing being the chaser instead of the pursued this year. At 2.5GB the WC1 and 1 GB the two teams tied for WC2 they don’t quite control their own destiny, but have a legitimate chance to play meaningful games all month long. As a fan, even if I’m pessimistic at (most) times, that’s all I can ask for.

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  10. Great column, Dan. I have no faith at all. The Astros are, for practical purposes, the worst team in baseball. They cannot be relied upon. They taunt their fans with false hopes, then send them plummeting. The players on this team have no talent. How did they even get out of their respective countries? Surely they never even had the goods to play Little League. This is the worst bunch of dropits, swung and missits, stranded betweenits, caught stealingits, can’t catchits, meatball pitchits, moonshot giftits, benchwarming expertits, baseball acumen igits I have ever had the misfortune to gaze upon in a diamond setting. Run ’em up the pole and don’t salute.

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    • Now that is a fun epic post TY Diane. All I know is the stupid cliché, “one game at a time”, So rub that lucky penny tonight Tim. Is it possible that the spirit of Bopert will shine.. His hatred of the Astros will help . Hope so.

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  12. Dan your column has angered the Astro baseball gods and Boperts message was the final straw. The Stros will sweep the rental team in Arlington this weekend. Fister will dominate tonight, Dallas K. will show his best tomorrow, and Musgrove will throw a no-hitter Sunday. This is after serious consultation with one of my Papst Blue Ribbons. I’ll have another on Labor day to check on the rest of our schedule.

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    • No Larry no! You must be pessimistic to get a positive outcome. If the PBR is fueling your optimism you must switch over to water with a cucumber in it and a vegan diet to power the pessimism necessary to produce a positive month.

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      • I’ve switched to ice water Dan. Of course I can only promise this today as LSU opens their season tomorrow afternoon and no Cajun can drink water when that happens. Therefore my optimism will probably pop up again then. Sorry.

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  13. Let me set the scene for you. Carefree, happy-go-lucky Dan P. [whose part is being played by Paul Newman] is riding his old-timey bicycle all around the barnyard at Bo’s ranch. Sandy [whose part is being played by Katherine Ross] runs out of the house, jumps on the handlebars of Dan P.’s bicycle, and throws her hands in the air like she just don’t care. Tim [whose part is being played by a sheepish-looking Robert Redford] comes out of the house to see what in the world is going on. He starts to say something in protest – then thinks better of it. He waves his hand in disgust, turns, and walks back toward the house. Key the music. B.J. Thomas starts singing – and Dan P., Sandy – and all the rest of us – start singing along.

    Doomsday keeps falling on our heads.
    WPs and infield boots are fillin’ up our silver boots with lead.
    The playoffs aren’t for us;
    ‘Cause we’ll never make it to the show by beatin’ losers;
    We need to beat the guys in blue; or else we’re pretty much through.

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  14. Greg Rajan reports that Brady Rodgers is indeed being called up to the major leagues.
    In keeping with the negative theme, Virginia Rodgers thinks this is a horrible move and that Brady used up all his mojo in the 2003 Little League World Series and has nothing left.
    This is a devastating move. Adding the PCL pitcher of the Year, could have negative side effects to a ball club that needs (or doesn’t need) help on the mound.
    How did I do, Dan?
    Yeah, your answer will probably suck!

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  16. Phifft…..Brady Rogers…he thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips. The Lastros must be desperate thinking one guy who was just voted PCL pitcher of the year could help them win a wild card spot. And I see where this unhinged manager can’t make up his mind who is gonna pitch on Sat or Sunday. He’s either going with Keuchel or Musgrove on Saturday, and Keuchel or Musgrove on Sunday. Maybe we could drive Tim to north texas…..and HE can pitch on Saturday or Sunday, he just needs to leave that lucky penny at home, we can’t give this little league team an edge.
    When I watch the Lastros play on television, I listen to the radio, and mute the television. I can NOT STAND that guy who calls the other teams ganes. He talks just to hear himself talk…….kinda like Ashby.

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  17. Dan, remember old Lloyd? I think that was his name. One of the few guys to ever get tossed from the site. We could use his talents right now.

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      • We should have never traded Willy T. He was the best centerfielder we ever had. The guy was a double waiting to happen in the batters box because he would bunt for a hit and steal second. Was like a tornado vacuum in CF, sucking up everything.
        We should have never traded Willy T! Of course he went on to greatness with his next teams, shaming the Astros relentlessly.
        Willy T would have understood what I’m talking about. He would have caught Albert Pujols’s home run if he had been in LF for us! He would have pitched out of that jam against Kansas City last fall. We should never have traded that guy.

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      • It’s all about vertical leap, Dan. Willy T. had it – they guys we have now don’t. That’s a fact, Jack.

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      • I’m picturing the guys in James Brown’s church in Blues Brothers leaping around – but still not quite there Mr. Bill.

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      • He could have caught the homer and driven the train at the same time. The Astros might as well give up without Willy T. We’re doomed.
        Goodness gracious, give me a theme and I will run with it! (Not as fast as Willy, of course!)

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      • Willy T. leapt tall buildings with a single bound. He ran faster than a screaming Pujols missile. He was more powerful than the MMP locomotive. And he probably wrote the song ‘Centerfield’ for John Fogerty. Well, except that ‘hit the ball and touch ’em all’ nonsense. Willy T. originally wrote it to say ‘bunt the ball, and touch ’em all.’ That Fogerty – he was always chasin’ down a Hoo-Doo there.

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  18. OK – old pro here are some practice themes:
    “We should have never let Carlos Gomez go…..”
    “Gee, I miss Brad Mills and Bo Porter…”
    “Man, if we had only let Tim Purpura run things for another decade….”
    “Jose Altuve will never fill the shoes of Kaz Matsui…”

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    • We stole Jason Jennings.
      We finally have our first baseman. Welcome, Carlos Pena.
      Everyone wants a DH like Chris Carter, but he’s ours.
      Jason Castro, our All-Star catcher.
      We like what we see in Jordan Schafer. He’ll be a fine relief pitcher one day.
      We think Bogu will make that transition to a power hitting outfielder with a cannon.
      Delino just needs some time and he will be a fine second baseman. We’ll have someone to replace Biggio after all these years.
      These four short-season pitchers are the Astros’ future on the mound.
      We believe Matt has a bright future for us at 3B.
      We wanted Matt Albers and Chad Qualls and we went out and got them.
      I know we drafted Correa, but we couldn’t pass up Nolan Fontana with that next pick.
      The guy is an on base machine.
      We traded Perez and Tropeano for a real major league catcher.

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      • Key the theme from M*A*S*H. As you will recall, the title of the song was ‘Suicide is Painless’. Sing with me, Hawkeye!

        From empty Minute Maid seats we see
        Visions of the things as I wished they would be
        Our season’s sunk, just ask OP,
        and Bopert’s claiming victory.

        The game of summer is hard to play
        We always lose it anyway.
        The wild card we can’t seem to play,
        So this is all I have to say.

        “Blog Suicide is painless; to play this out is aimless.
        So I’ll just watch the Texans, if you please.
        If we just could have hit for Altuve’s weight,
        our hometown nine would’ve been so great,
        but now alas, it’s much too late . . . .

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dave, that sure sounds like a famous musical duo. Were those the two guys who hooked up to sing ‘Watchout, Here it comes – its a high heater’? Or maybe it was ‘Silver Boot Scootin’ Boogie’? Or maybe was it ‘Lidge Over Troubled Water’?

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  20. Don’t forget our excellent record in the draft! Especially the mighty Chris Burke.

    “Burke was the Houston Astros’ first overall pick in the 2001 Major League Baseball Draft as the 10th overall selection. In 2003, Burke was named Round Rock’s MVP and a Texas League All-Star after batting .301 with 3 home runs and 41 RBI. He played on the USA Baseball Olympic qualifying team and was named the starting second baseman for the All-Star Futures Game.

    In 2004, Burke was named the Pacific Coast League Rookie of the Year and the New Orleans Zephyrs’ team MVP in addition to being named to the All-PCL and AAA All-Star teams after hitting .315 with 16 home runs, 52 RBI, and 37 steals. He played in the All-Star Futures Game for the second straight year.”

    That right there proves we drafted the right guy. Just another in a long string of successful round 1 picks that include such notables as Nevin (1st overall), Juden, Livsey, Nanni, Rosamond, Stiehl, and others.

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    • Mike Nanu Nanu? OMG, we drafted Robin Williams!
      Hey, Juden (Mr. Bill is gonna love this one)
      Stiehl was a steal with an arm like a chainsaw.
      Nevin in my life would I trade this pick for a shortstop. Nevin!
      We should have drafted Rosamond’s Baby. A devil of player.
      We had to check his pulse to see if he was still aLivesy.
      Eli Iorg is coming. Good song that was
      Sapp was Maxxed out.
      Nobody wants a guy named after a fish! Take the skinny little shortstop. Tons of upside.
      But, this all started with Ernie Fazio. He got the whole ball rolling.

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  21. This is concerning….Keuchel has been pushed back to next Tuesday.
    Lord, I hope his arm is ok…
    Musgrove tomorrow
    McHugh on Sunday.

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  22. In Arlington to watch three. Head down and looking for pennies. None found…..yet. I always new the Yanks from North of I-10 were cheap. Not even a penny on the ground!

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  23. Ok…..your mission is to report back for us (me!) Good thing we’ve got a couple of long relievers….that ball park will dehydrate a pitcher….even THEIR pitchers. My stomach is in knots!

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      • If Reed was at least an average defensive 1B Bregman does not have an error and this game is not tied! Geez! If you cant hit you dang well better field!

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      • Gotta say if that was Marwin at first that throw is up in the stands but Reed muffed it after getting his glove on it.

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      • Dan P. With all due respect….NO. Marwin is hands down far better defensively than Reed. That was a 1B error pure and simple.

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      • vewill,

        I think Dan was saying, because the throw was high, that Marwin wouldn’t even have been able to get a glove on it. I agree with Dan in that regards as the ball would have sailed over Marwin’s head. It was because of Reed’s height that he was able to make the initial catch.

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  25. Mr. Fister is his own worst enemy sometimes. He nearly always has a full count on every hitter. AND…….where in the he ll was that clutch hit Gomez just hit when he was with us????? Oh well….I’m glad the guy is gone, he sucked the air outta this clubhouse. Plus…..they keep showing him picking his nose…..totally gross.

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  30. No team has owned us this bad since the old days of the Atlanta Braves. And at least then we had the pitching to keep the games close.

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  34. AJ Reed has worse MLB stats than Jon Singleton and is a significantly inferior defensive player. Let’s all come to the conclusion that he Reed has no business being on a a major league roster at this point in his career. I just hope that they have not severely diminished his trade value.

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    • Jon Singleton was a very bad defensive 1B – he never knew when to go for the ball or when to cover first.
      I don’t care how much they play Reed down the stretch but quit trading guys at the bottom of their worth. Let’s see if he hits nexr year.

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  35. Didn’t watch the game company, but I’m not shocked . Texas ha s really good team UGH and what they have over us from the manager down, is spunk, fight, there edgy, the have that IT factor, they hate to loose. We have a bunch of nice guys that are way to soft, and I have said that many times in the last year, so its just not tonight. We need to learn how to get pissed and refuse to get pushed around by good teams!

    ()*&*&%$^*%#%$&^^(*P&*WQ$#@$$&^*(*)_

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      • The only reason to release him would be to open up a 40-man roster spot or get out from under the $4M still owed to him. I think they will just keep him until they must DFA him (he runs out of minor league options).

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      • Tim, I don’t think that there is any way they can get out of the money they still owe him. It’s also hard to envision a scenario where he would ever make the big club and he has absolutely no trade value He’s not even hitting at the AAA level any more and is no longer a prospect with any projectable future. Still, the only way I see him being released is if they do it to free up space to protect a more valuable prospect from Rule V.

        It’s hard to believe that he is still only 24. Seems like he’s been around forever now.

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      • If someone claims him off waivers then that team is responsible for his remaining salary. It’s not likely, but a rebuilding team may take a chance on a former top prospect.

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  39. Right now this team is being carried offensively by Bregman, Gattis and Yulie. Where would we be without them down the stretch?

    Take away Bregman’s slow start and he would have the 2nd best stats in the lineup. He now has 6 HR and 23 RBI in only 35 games. At his current pace (which includes his 0-32 start) he would project out to 28 HR and well over 100 RBI for a full season.

    Yulie’s sample size is really too small and we may see some regression but it appears that his plate discipline and powerful, compact swing to all fields will translate well over time. I don’t see him keeping up a .375 pace but I can envision him flirting with .300 with high OBP over a full season. I expect him to start getting a more steady diet of breaking balls diving to the outside of the plate. If he continues to improve on handling that pitch he will be a major piece of the 2017 puzzle.

    Gattis has added 50 points to his BA since moving to catcher. He’s making hard contact consistently and throwing down some very good numbers. In the last 4 weeks he is slashing .314/.395/.586 with 5 HR 14 RBI, 41 TB and an OPS of .981. I really like this Gattis better than the one we had in the first half of the season!

    Take away White’s fast start to the season and he and Reed are really the same player with limited value offensively or defensively (at the moment). White has 25 RBI in 236 PA and Reed has only 8 RBI in 124 PA with an OPS a 100 points higher (though still pathetic for a corner infielder) so at least White has shown that he can produce at the ML level. Neither can hit off handed pitching.

    We need production from 1B and I would like to see Yulie get some reps. I know he lacks experience at the position but we need to find a way to get one more consistent bat in the lineup down the stretch.

    Devo continues to be the only arm that is consistent and reliable on a day-in-day-out basis. He has developed into a REALLY good pitcher. He works fast and takes care of business. I’d like to see him get a start or two down the stretch but I think his value may be greater in his current role.

    Last…..I officially flip my position on offering Mister Fister a QO. If he keeps this up he will pitch himself back to a 1 yr FA deal in 2017.

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  40. Heading to the ballpark early today. Gonna tail gate in the enemy’s camp and try to find out where they hide their Astros voodoo doll. If I can find it and steal it maybe the curse can be broken.

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    • I hope you have success VEwill – I tried reverse voodoo with this post and it blew up in my face. They need these games but it does not help to go up against them without Dallas Keuchel.

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    • Thank you. We are fine but when that thing hit this morning it was like thunder striking near the house. The house shook.
      We have a surprise visit from one of our kids and their family and they had never felt an earthquake and it was THE talk around the kitchen this morning as they described how the bed shook.
      I am amazed every time it happens because one thing I never imagined was the BOOM when one of them occurs.

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      • Yes!!! We are so glad you and your family are ok! I wonder why your state keeps having earthquakes? The bullpen that other team has was exposed last night. Our pen is hands down better than theirs. Take Feliz and Sipp out of the equation and they don’t score in that inning. I realize how tired everyone òf our guys are….but they can be tired over the winter, not right now!! Vewill……I don’t care if you can’t find that vodoo doll, just say a little prayer for Musgrove that he doesn’t over heat out there!
        Early score: Ok 7….U of Houston 3

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  44. AND……THAT IS THE BALL GAME. …WHAT ELSE CAN YOU SAY.
    Joe had a good outing…no matter what the score says.
    I’m going out for Mexican food, and I’m going to have more than one Margarita.
    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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  46. It’s not like they didn’t have changes today. .WHY on God’s green earth does Hinch put Brady Rogers in such a high leverage game???? Just turned it off….walked away shaking my head.

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    • Down 7-2 with 3 outs remaining is white flag territory. The one thing you don’t want to do is burn guys out with such a low likelihood of coming from behind. If we were down to our last games and staving off elimination I would agree with you. On the flip side, some guys don’t perform well in garbage time. I hope the Astros continue to find him opportunities this month to see what he’s got.

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  47. So, it looks like Altuve may have pulled a hammy or something trying to beat out a game ending DP in a game that was over several innings ago. I am guessing it has been barking at him for a while now and might explain his recent slump. Blum pointed out in game last night that his swing did not look the same and called attention to his back (right) leg.

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  48. I’m callinG bull shat on that Devin. The kid was soo dang nervous he hit the first batter…..AND he only got called up YESTERDAY. I’m not going to watch tomorrow’s game…..it just makes me sick to see this club get pounded like that. This team is sooo exposed. The *big* trade Luhnow made last year by bringing gomez, in is now defunct, and now they are back to square one. I don’t care how much it’s going to cost Jim Crane, but we need **B I G* bat, and another TOR pitcher. No iffs or buts about it. If Altuve is hurt. …Gurriel can take his place at 2nd, and put White at 1st tomorrow. Losing sucks…..ESPECIALLY to this bunch of white trash.

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  49. All I have to say about guys like Rodgers and Devenski and Feliz is that they are starters who are in the bullpen watching the Astros starters get crushed. Maybe they need to be starters and let the older guys go to the bullpen.
    As far as Musgrove is concerned he threw around the knees for three appearances and was great and now is getting crushed because all his pitches are up. What happened?

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    • OP, I don’t disagree. And now, in a playoff stretch with everything on the line we have McHugh and his 4.8 ERA going against Darvish on Sunday. I wouldn’t mind seeing a little shakeup in the rotation and seeing Devo or Feliz get a start.

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  50. That was a tough game and it was HOT out there today. Afternoon games at that park should be illegal!

    Both Altuve and Springer look tired. I know its tough to do so with all the chips on the line, but both of them probably need a rest. Altuve may be one game too late and his rest may be forced due to the leg.

    I have been worried all season about the lingering effects of the huge ramp- up in IP for Keuchel since 2013. Now I wonder if his problems all season could be related to that. If he does not respond well between now and Tuesday I would seriously consider skipping him every other start or even shutting him down for the season. That would be a tough call down the stretch but we need the 2015 Keuchel in 2017 more than we need the 2016 Keuchel down the stretch.

    I thought Musgrove had a really live fastball and good bite on his breaking stuff. As OP pointed out earlier he just could not command the bottom half of the zone and left a lot up. I’m not worried about Musgrove. His stuff translates to quality starts. He just needs to work down in the zone a little more.

    Gurriell had quality at bats with nothing to show for it. Bregman continued his streak of quality at bats. White impressed again with a solid pinch hit and Gattis continues to look like a baseball player and hits everything thrown at him.

    Correa worked himself into a 3-2 count with the bases loaded and saw an excellent pitch that he dribbled into a DP. That was not a pitch that many batters could handle and the sinking action screamed DP. Sometimes I wish that batters would just take the K instead of trying to do something with a pitch like that. But alas, I don’t fault him. His job is to swing the bat. Sometimes you just have to tip your hat to the pitcher for an excellent 3-2 pitch.

    And last, I give props to whom, in my opinion, is the most underrated and over- reviled player on the team, Jake Marisnik. Jake saved at least 2 runs with exceptional defense (glove and arm) and created 2 runs with his bat.

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