Finish the phrase: Time to vent, laugh and opine


by Dan Peschong

I thought I would take the easy way out today and throw out a simplistic throw away post. It is called “Finish the Phrase” and it is about that simple. I’ll throw out the start of 10 phrases related to the Astros and you get to complete them all or as many as you wish.

1) “If I could get my DeLorean up to 88 mph (and had the requisite 1.21 gigawatts of power) I would go back in Astros history to……”

2) “The guy I really want to see at the major league level this season is….”

3) “Bo Porter will be….”

4) “Jeff Luhnow needs to….”

5) “I thought about whether the Astros were better off filling in with older FAs or rebuilding and I think…”

6) “Releasing Brett Wallace was…”

7) “Ed Wade was responsible for…”

8) “If I had Drayton McLane standing here right now, I would…”

9) “The Astros are 3 years from….”

10) “Jim Crane, the devil and Piers Morgan go into a bar….”

Have fun….

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37 comments on “Finish the phrase: Time to vent, laugh and opine

  1. 1. I would have resigned Jeff Kent and had his bat in the lineup for two more years.
    2. The guy I want to see in the majors this year is Singleton, because a good lefty 1B with power is “IT” at 1B, and a promotion means he would have proved himself at OKC.
    3. Bo Porter will be a little smarter this year.
    4. Jeff Luhnow needs to get Reid Ryan to figure out how to get us a TV deal.
    5. I think rebuilding was harder than Luhnow thought it was.
    6. Releasing Brett wallace was a sign of moving on from players who contributed to losing.
    7.Ed Wade was responsible for Folty, Cosart, Springer, Kvasnicka. OMG! He was also responsible for wielding McLane’s dirty majic wand.
    8. If I had McLane here right now I would wait until he was speaking and just turn around and walk away right in the middle of it.
    9. The Astros are three years from having an amazing young baseball team.
    10. Jim Crane, the devil, and Piers Morgan walk into a bar and an hour later the devil comes out of the bar sweating and making the sign of the cross and looking for an exorcist.

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  2. … the 2005 playoffs. It was a magical time. Or maybe the 1986 season. I loved those Astros.

    … Carlos Correa. I think the exact same guy at 21 starts at shortstop.

    … frustrated often. But so will we all

    … be more aggressive about promoting players. Not just to Houston but within the minor leagues.

    … we did the right thing. The Luhnow Plan rocks.

    … the best thing for the first base/DH logjam.

    … the start of this turnaround. We should thank him.

    … tell him he was the best owner, right up to the moment he became the worst owner.

    … having been competitive for a year already.

    … and Morgan and the devil get a table together, while Crane is again vilified by being lumped in with the evil around him.

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  3. So I thought I would contribute my fantastic finishes…
    1) Time machine…either to relive the fantastic 18 inning playoff win over the Braves or to beg Hal Lanier to bring in Jim Deshaies for the 16th inning against the Mets in 1986.
    2)Want to see…Springer – I would be a hypocrite to say anyone else after all the whining I’ve done. Second would be Correa who looks ready now.
    3)Porter …will be judged more harshly this season – he better step up his game.
    4) Luhnow… I go with Brian’s take – need to start seeing faster upward movement in the organization.
    5) Patchwork vs; rebuilding… the rebuilding has been very tough but very necessary – you cannot compete with the worst minor league system in the majors.
    6) Wallace…was sad in a way – hard to see guys starting to lose their dream.
    7) Wade …responsible for some terrible FA signings and some good trades / draft picks after rebuilding began.
    8) If I met Drayton….I’d ask …”what did you do every day in the last 6 years of owning the team to build a champion?”
    9) 3 years from now…I will be enjoying the good young talent at the mlb and high minors level.
    10) Crane, the devil, and Piers Morgan….
    a) They go in the bar to lift a toast to the day they were born as fraternal triplets….
    b) Piers reports on the deal that Crane makes with the devil to get the Comcast deal done…
    c) The devil and Piers Morgan thank Crane for absorbing the hatred normally reserved for them…especially from some guy named Bo.

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  4. I’ll throw in a few……but I’m cheating on number one by going back twice…..
    1. I would have had Dickie Thon taking all the way, backed off the plate on that pitch from Torrez. And I would have insisted that J.R. Richard undergo a full weeks worth of tests at the Medical Center when he continually complained of not feeling right.
    2. Too easy. Springer is already taken. But I would like to see Wojoski get healthy and make it up to the big club at some point this summer.
    3. Bo…..will be looking for a job come October.
    4. Luhnow needs to keep his blinders on and stay committed to this project he’s undertaken. (I’m still wary that he might jump ship for the right offer).
    5. I thought about going the free agent route ….and I still believe this club should have spent 100 million a year on payroll while at the same time rebuilding the system. Bill Holmes, are you out there?
    6. Releasing Wallace was overdue.
    7. Ed Wade was responsible for taking a bad job in the first place. That was his biggest mistake.
    8. Drayton McLane? I’d Ignore him. He means nothing to me.
    9. The Astros are three years away from being much more fun to watch.
    10. I don’t know much about the devil, but if the other two walked in, I’d move to the other end of the bar.

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    • About #4, who would be ready to hire Luhnow looking at the Astros the last two years and the team we are going to have this year? He’s a rebuilder but he’s the guy that you don’t want him rebuilding your house because he keeps missing deadlines and making the family miserable.

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      • The other way you can look at it oldpro is that he is doing exactly what his boss is telling him to do – make the minor league system the best in the majors while keeping the payroll the worst in the majors.

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      • Fair question oldpro. I don’t know. But what if Crane is as bad in real life as he seems to be? What if the league already knows that Luhnow does not like working for Crane? My # 4 was all conjecture, but so far anyway, this organization, under Crane, has not gotten much good press. And for good reason too.

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      • Do you think Luhnow has bad press for the three 100 loss season or good pess for the minor league turn around?

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      • I think everyone else in MLB would cringe at the thought of their team being like ours for four or five years.

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  5. 1. Go see JR Richard throw
    2. Carlos Rodon. Is that irresponsible of me?
    3. Prickly
    4. Show us some return on investment (the three 100 loss seasons)
    5. It’s not an either or. They needed to do both. Unless all the legit big leaguers turned them down, 2013 was had to forgive.
    6. Business, not personal.
    7. A WS championship for Ruben Amaro
    8. Pretend I had never heard of him before
    9. 2017 opening day on the moon!
    10. …and wouldn’t you know it, no one had an ice pack to lend them

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  6. 1) Prevent the Kenny Lofton and Curt Schilling trades.

    2)Springer.

    3) remembered in Astros history as being a better manager than Mills and Cooper, but about the same level as Jimy Williams.

    4) start looking around for shortstops.

    5) The rebuilding should’ve started earlier. Thing is, though, the drafts were so bad last decade that #1 picks would’ve been wasted with our previous regimes.

    6) something that should’ve been done at the end of last season.

    7) getting choked by Shawn Chacon. And also was a mole for the Phillies *spit*

    8) slip something in his drink, and then rob him blind.

    9) being 82-80;

    10)Rush Limbaugh follows them in, and then I set the place ablaze.

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  7. 1. 2004. That was a team that had the muscle in every respect to win it all. Edmonds made a series saving catch, and there was Albert Pujols being clutch. But the Astros truly were the best baseball on the planet that postseason.

    2. GSpring and Singlepuff.

    3. Underpaid. His salary, to this date, has never been announced.

    4. Leave for greener pastures within the next three years. By then, the fans (cough, cough) will have realized that the franchise ain’t going anywhere, and that Crane won’t spend the requisite money to contend. Buh-buy, Luhnow.

    5. Who cares? There isn’t enough fire power or payroll to make a difference in 2014.

    6. Just as predicted. And then predicted yet again.

    7. Who cares? Ed Wade came before the franchise was ruined anyway.

    8. (this response intentionally left blank).

    9. …from having a legit TV deal

    10. Peirs Morgan finally realized that he did not like the crowd he was running with, so he said “what the hey, I might as well become a Rangers fan. At least I can watch them on TV…”.

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    • Had a question based on Bo’s #3 – I not only never heard a salary amount announced – I’m not sure I ever heard a number of years on Porter’s contract announced.
      Anybody else know more?

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      • It’s a contract that has a game to game renewal. Bonuses kick in over forty wins, and are forfeited if the Astros lose the 1.1 pick.
        Porter agrees not to go by the nickname “Bosie” given to him by the Indian’s third base coach, but may refer to the AAA farm team as the Springerville Redhawks.
        $100 bonuses to Porter for not having the most errors by the team, not having the most runners picked off or thrown out, not leading the league in being struck out and not having the highest team era in history. Porter may be filing for bancruptcy soon. as he is reportedly reponsible for the fuel bills of players sent down to AAA.

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  8. Do you remember that yesterday I mentioned the Astros had been hanging in there pretty well with our regulars against the oppostion’s regulars This spring, unlike last spring.
    Today our regulars and Cosart got drummed by the Cards.regulars 5-0. We got four runs in the seventh against their scrubs to make it look close. Oh, well.

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  9. It was either me or our former all-star second baseman getting picked off of 1st in the bottom of the first that jinxed us. Cosart had struck out the side in the first and then blew up after the pickoff.

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  10. Old pro has provided a great attempt at describing what Bo Porter’s mystery contract is. Let’s see:
    – if they are on a pace for more than 50 wins – the team has to travel by bus and Bo has to drive it.
    – If they have the worst record in baseball at the beginning of any month – Bo gets a $10 gift card to McDonalds (participating stores only)
    – Bo gets paid in goods rather than money – he has a garage full of fluorescent lights and AA batteries.

    Anyone else?

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  11. and while the details of his contract with the Astros have not been disclosed other than the negligible phrase “multi-year contract,” judging by what other managers who were in their first jobs have received and that the Astros are operating on a cheap-as-humanly-possible dynamic, it would be a shock if his salary is much higher than $500,000

    this is all i could find

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    • Yeah rj – that is exactly what I found – the original announcement of a multi-year contract (two would be multi – right?)
      I looked around a little more and frankly a majority of the teams do not reveal this information. Based on a couple similar situations – I’m guessing that Porter is somewhere between 500K and 750K. about 1/50th of what Pujols makes in a year???

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      • I don’t know about his salary, but if he signed for two years only with this team he should be fired, because only a dummy would not see huge losses for the first two years. That would be like walking into a tornado because of a love of flying..

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