We know how New Year’s resolutions work – they are usually very important, very difficult to keep and abandoned faster than a ….New Year’s resolution?
So, this year rather than be the source of internal disappointment, I decided to take a different tack and choose resolutions for others.
A resolution for Jim Crane . Jim, I think your resolution for 2014 should be to watch recordings of Bill Belichick’s press conferences and to keep your answers to two or three word sentences. You should hire a lackey to stand next to you with a large muffin in his or her hand and stuff it in your mouth whenever you start to say what you really think.
A resolution for Reid Ryan. Reid, this may be a tougher assignment than any of the 773 starts of your dad’s MLB career. Your resolution
is to somehow come to an equitable agreement on the Comcast mess that provides reasonable income to the team (and not its lawyers) and most importantly allows the fans to actually see the product that we pray will be improving this year.
A resolution for Jeff Luhnow. Jeff, you undoubtedly have watched the Charles Dickens classic “A Christmas Carol” during the recent holiday season and no doubt you identified with Bob Cratchit when he asked Scrooge for another lump of coal. Well, your resolution should be to ask Jim Bob Scrooge Crane for more than another lump – to ask him for a giant lump of gold named Masahiro Tanaka.
A resolution for Bo Porter. Bo, I know you are an aggressive sort and you have a football as well as a baseball background. But I want you to pull back the reins on the “running” Houston Astros. As a team they were successful only 64% of the time in their steal attempts. That is bad any time and in the modern sabermatic world that is statistical suicide. Your resolution has to be to reel in the stealing, especially for the guys like Brandon Barnes (11 of 22) and Robbie Grossman (6 of 13) who were only coin flips to make it to the next base. (Well, Barnes is someone else’s concern this season – but you get the idea).
A resolution for John Mallee. John, baby, the Astros were last in the AL in hits, OBP, SLG, OPS and first in most K’s – a major league record 1523 strike outs or approximately 9.4 per game. It was likely one of the worst hitting exhibitions since the Amazing Mets were an expansion team. Your resolution has to be to help those hitters get out of the basement in something – anything – and save your job. I know you had a boat load of inexperienced and fairly low talent hitters last year – but I just saw very little improvement or change in approach during the season. Show us something – please.
A resolution for Brent Strom. Brent, your resolution should be to channel your inner Dave Duncan. The Cards have been great in developing fine arms out of their own system – but what always impressed me was when some “guy” would end up traded to or signed by the Cards, like Jeff Suppan, Kyle Lohse or a string of others, and immediately improve.
Along with the obvious – developing the young guys – please make some pearls from sow’s ears, Mr. Strom.
I could go on and on with these resolutions for the players – but thought I would step aside and see what resolutions you loyal bloggers would like to contribute. What do you want to see from your favorite or least favorite Astros in 2014?