What they said, What they meant: Desperation Edition

We’re back with the Desperation Edition of What They Said, What They Meant as the quotes from chron.com (spit) and the real meaning increasingly reflect a team and coaching staff heading full steam towards a cliff.

Bo Porter after using Chad Qualls (out 8 days with the flu) in a save situation and leaving him in to turn a two-run lead into a walk-off loss.

  • What he said: “We’re going to continue to go with the guys that are down there. That’s all we can do. We can’t go with somebody that’s not down there. We don’t have defined roles, so what else can we do (other) than what we’re doing.”
  • What he meant: “Boy you press boys are real idiots. If we don’t have defined roles for the bullpen – why couldn’t we do something else? Like have Fields ready to help out or let Qualls ease back from illness in a different role. And I love that I decide that there are no defined roles and then use that to defend any damn, stupid thing I do.”

John Mallee, hitting coach after the recent feeble efforts by the offense.

  • What he said: “You feel for (the hitters). They work so hard together and spend so much time together, obviously everybody wants them to be successful and there’s a lot of stress involved for us (the coaches). And not because it looks bad on us as a staff, but you feel for them. They’re really good players. Average is an accumulation of numbers over time. It’s a small sample size here.”
  • What he meant: “What the heck is going on? You would think that just by chance somebody would be hitting better than normal – not everybody hitting like they are channeling their inner Cody Clark. I feel for the hitters alright – I feel my hands closing around their collective necks as they get my butt fired.”

Bo Porter after Matt Dominguez tried to stretch a single into a double and was thrown out by about 45 feet.

  • What he said: Porter stared blankly for 18 seconds before answering. “It’s just not smart, obviously. And sorry for taking so long to answer the question. I went and asked Matt Dominguez, ‘Do you think you’re invisible? You are down (5-0) and the ball is right in front of you.’ So, to answer your question: No, I don’t like it. There was nothing smart about it, and next question.”
  • What he meant: “First of all I had to ask myself have I ever seen this before and my answer was yes – but it was at my son’s T-ball game and the little boy made it to 2nd anyways, because at that age they can neither catch the ball nor tag anyone out. Second, it shocked me because even though Matty D has some drawbacks – he is slower than molasses on an Alaskan glacier, has big holes in his swing and sometimes botches easy plays in the field – he is not a dumb ball player. If he is going brain dead on me now – is their any hope for this team?”

Scott Kazmir after being asked about signing with the Oakland A’s after talking with the Houston Astros.

  • What he said: “Yeah, it was serious, I ended up talking to all of the guys. We had a meeting together, front office guys, (manager) Bo Porter was there. We talked about things. It just, for whatever reason, (didn’t work out). This is a great group of guys that are going to come up together and be a solid organization, a solid team in the big leagues. Definitely had interest.”
  • What he meant: “I can think of a couple reasons it didn’t work out. One was the A’s offering me 2 years / $22 million while the Astros were offering me shares in some crazy network they are trying to rescue from bankruptcy. And really – all things being equal – the A’s finished 45!!!!! games ahead of the Astros last season. Which one would you pick? And hey if they really wanted me why didn’t they sign me when I was stuck pitching for the Skeeters in their backyard last year?”

Bo Porter on bringing up Raul Valdes to take the lefty spot from Kevin Chapman.

  • What he said: “At least if a guy throws strikes and forces the opponent to swing the bat, we have an opportunity to defend the baseball. That was pretty much the message that we delivered to Chapman last night: ‘You have the stuff to pitch here, but you have to be able to command it.’ Valdes is a veteran guy. He’s been in this role before. He’s a strike thrower. At this juncture when we bring that lefty into that situation — a lefty-lefty matchup — we need the guy to put the ball in play or strike him out.”
  • What he meant: “So they send me a 36 year old has-been who throws lots of strikes usually. He threw lots of strikes last season for the Phillies – of course the league tattooed him for a 7.20 ERA, but hey he is a strike thrower. Well until we brought him up and he walked 2 guys in 2/3 of an inning……YAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!”

Bo Porter after the Astros got “handled” by James Shields.

  • What he said: “Any time a guy goes eight innings against your ballclub, you have to give him credit. At the same time, offensively, we did not swing the bat well.”
  • What he meant: “Can I just number my responses? Like this one about giving the guy credit for doing what every lug does against us, and how our team is not swinging the bat well. I’ll call this response #4 – in fact I’ll write up a whole list of these responses and then when you ask a question – I can just yell out ‘Number 4’ and save us all a bunch of time.”

Bo Porter after the release of Lucas Harrell.

  • What he said: “As far as Lucas Harrell goes, I think that some times situations run their course. Lucas Harrell is a major league pitcher. We wish him nothing but the best. At the same time sometimes a change of scenery is probably best for a guy. I think that’s pretty much the point that we got to as an organization that we felt like a change of scenery was best for him.”
  • What he meant: “Oh Lord, I just thought about what I said and I realized that this is exactly what Jeff Luhnow plans on saying about me soon.”

Bo Porter after a recent 11-3 loss.

  • What he said: “We talked to these guys today and just told ‘em, we said, ‘Listen, man, people start to look at slumps — it’s small samples’. And you can get caught up real easy. Just as fast as a guy can go 0-for-20, a guy can go 10-for-20, and think, ‘Wow, this guy’s the best player ever.’ It all goes in cycles.”
  • What he meant: “Like anybody, I would like to have – a long managing career; longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to see the prospects. And I’ve looked down in the minor league system. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a team, will get to the Promised Land. So I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Jonathan Singleton, Carlos Correa, Michael Foltynewicz, Rio Ruiz, Mark Appel and…...” (Apologies to the late Dr. Martin Luther King and to the Lord).

Jeff Luhnow Bonus Quote that I borrowed from Chip’s Monday morning post.

  • What Jeff said: “Guys that don’t produce aren’t going to stick around.”
  • What you think Jeff meant -??????

68 responses to “What they said, What they meant: Desperation Edition”

  1. One of my friends who used to work with me but is now retired to Alabama gave me this Luhnow interpretation, “Jeff meant there’s a possibility we won’t have anyone currently associated with the team now, other than Crane, Ryan, and Luhnow, associated with the team at the end of the season.”

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  2. Bonus quote: “Don’t get too chummy with anyone not named Altuve. Seriously. I’m thinking by late July you’re all gonna need to buy a program to get the new names and faces straight. I just told Chris Carter that he needs to make sure he didn’t sign anything more than a month-to-month lease.”

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    • Brian T – Carter is on fire – had two hits last night including his first dinger and his 2nd and 3rd RBIs for the season. His BA is now .148 and his OPS is .543. Now that is a DH.

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  3. This is funny.
    Since we can’t see any of the games anyway, would it be ok if we could play in
    Seattle every night?

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    • Well – it is a good match for us – since we are practically tied (Hou 7-15 / Sea 7-14). Seattle has similar sucky hitting to ours – .632 OPS vs. .628 OPS for Hou.
      Oh and time for celebration as the team batting average hit the Mendoza line of .200 after last night’s game.

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      • The home team fans were booing the M’s last night. They looked strikingly like our Astros. How could they K 12 times against our newest ace?

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    • A benefit to left coast games is that there are fewer concurrent games at that time, so the MLB network live look ins give more opportunities to see the Astros play. Of course, this only helps those of us with DirecTV or a cable carrier that has that channel.

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      • I managed to find one affiliate carrying the game audio stream for the second night in a row. Imagine being able to listen to the Astros on the radio via PC, fifty something years after listening to the Astros on the radio. Some progress, huh?

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      • It is interesting to see the many ways people try to watch their favorite last place team (that is only 1/2 game from getting out of the cellar).

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      • I don’t stay up and watch the West Coast stuff. I’m in the Atlantic time zone. But I do watch the condensed game on MLB network with my first cup of coffee each morning.

        George Springer keeps getting pitched up and in. He needs to start laying off that stuff and be satisfied with a walk for the time being. Too many bad swings right now.

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      • Daveb – I thought Springer did a better job laying off things in his first few games – but now that he is getting that John Mallee coaching …..

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  4. Minor League report:
    Singleton(8) and Meyer(1) hit homers, Grossman had two hits and 3 BB, and David Martinez gave up 1 run in five innings, as the OKC Redhawks beat the Memphis Redbirds 8-3 on the road. OKC is back home Thursday night.
    Newcomer Chris Epps hit a second inning grand slam and Nolan Fontana’s fourth hit of the night was a 12th inning walkoff single as the CC Hooks defeated the Memphis Rockhounds 6-5. Aaron West had his first bad outing of the year, giving up 6 hits and 5 runs in 3.1 innings but four Hooks relievers gave up 8 hits and no runs in the next 8.2 innings. Epps came in when DDJ got beaned last week.
    -Anthony Kemp, Carlos Correa, and Rio Ruiz each had two hits, Teoscar Hernandez had a two run homer and the Hader-Devenski tandem pitched great as Lancaster defeated the Inland Empire 66ers 5-1. Mark Appel goes tonight for the Jethawks.
    -When Quad Cities had to put SS Jack Mayfield on the DL this past weekend, the Astros sent Thomas Lindauer from extended spring training in Kissimmee to QC to play some SS. In Lindauer’s first two games he has five hits, including a DBL and two home runs and five rbi’s. QC stomped Clinton 11-2 as Adrian Houser, Patrick Christensen, Gonzalo Sanudo and Andrew Walter all pitched well. Sanudo hasn’t given up a run in his first 13 innings of the season and Christensen continues to dominate with groundouts and strikeouts galore. Hopefull QC uses this road victory to get back on track to defend it’s Midwest league crown. They are 8-10 for the year.

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    • Thanks old pro – after a lost weekend of lots of losses – it is nice to see the teams (including the Astros) having a good night.

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  5. The discussion about what folks go through to see or hear the Astros takes me back. When I first came to Houston in the mid-60’s the radio was the mainline to the team. The only time the Astros would show a TV game was a road game that fell on a Sunday. That was it. The only time baseball was on TV was the national Saturday game of the week and if your team was the home team it was blacked out and you watched the back-up game. If the Astros were at home on Saturday afternoon they would often be designated the backup game because with the Dome it was the only game that could not get rained out.
    Heck we never knew what was happening in the minors and really did not care. If somebody was any good they would get up some time.
    It is a different world.

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  6. daveb –
    I actually enjoyed watching Mr. McHugh pitch last night – he was doing a great job of mixing up his pitches and on location. I cannot tell you how much was McHugh pitching well and the M’s swinging like a team full of Chris Carters (Carter on every other night other than last night).
    Of course – the M’s are a bad almost horrid offensive team and at the rate things are going the Astros will soon pass them up at which point the M’s are the horrid ones and the Astros are only bad.

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  7. Stop the presses…….Bo Porter just put the same lineup two days in a row!
    Who are we going to “see” today, the really good Cosart, or the really bad Cosart?
    His last two starts were horrible. You think last nights game was a fluke, or is McHugh that good?

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    • I think that Cosart will jump on the bandwagon and have a good start.
      McHugh pitched a good game last night – but look at the M’s statistics – they are hitting a lot like the Astros as a team – and that is not good.

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  8. You gotta laugh……..the first time 6;10″ Chris Young (M’s starter today) tried to pitch to 5’4″ Altuve, it was too funny! Young looked like a giant on the mound,
    when Altuve came up to bat. Altuve got a hit off him!!

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  9. Oh and in reference to the “strike thrower” Raul Valdes – so far in two appearnces he has faced 7 batters, got two out, walked 3 and gave up 2 hits including a HR and his ERA is 40.50.
    So how is that strike thrower quote working out for you Mr. Porter?

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  10. Jim Crane, regarding Robinson Cano.

    WHAT HE SAID: “Pretty good a chance a lot of that money for Cano came from the TV deal…”

    WHAT HE MEANT: “Since we do not have any legit market demand for our crappy product– ie, no TV deal — we’ll never be able to sign impact guys like Cano.”

    And no, the team will not sign Tanaka or Choo. And they will not become buyers by the All-Star break.

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    • I am actually happy that they did not give $24 million a year for 10 years to a guy who is already 31 years old. Seattle will be full of regret by 2017 or 2018.
      Cano does not look too happy with a .672 OPS in the middle of a crappy lineup.

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    • I think NY will eventually sign Tanaka, as Becky has said in advance. My sources tell me that the Rangers have the inside track on Choo. What do your sources say?

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      • My inside sources say that while the Astros have an inside track on signing Scott Feldman, they may fail in re-signing Carlos Beltran, Randy Johnson and Jeff Kent.

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      • Also heard rumblings of Baltimore being interested in Glenn Davis. Hope we get that Schilling guy, although knowing our management they might do something stupid like turn him into a relief pitcher and then trade him the following year for someone who never pitches one inning for them in the majors and whose career later ends due to getting popped for steroids. Nah….that would never happen.

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      • Glad to see all you jokesters haven’t missed the point. The team being buyers at the All-Star break??

        HA! That’s hilarious!

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      • Bo – they are only teasing you because the way you wrote it – it sounds like the Tanaka and Choo signings are yet to come.
        I know you were just trying to say that those were things that were never going to be. But loosen up and have some fun.

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  11. Welp…….ya can’t win ’em all. Porter should have known Josh Fields wasn’t going
    to be available today. Cosart actually pitched very well, considering his last two
    starts were cut short. Let’s hope Carter’s bat has woke up……hitting his 2nd. HR today.

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    • Three days in a row may not have been smart – but he did not throw that many pitches the last two days 15/16 – but not everybody can do it. On the radio they said Albers has a tender shoulder, but that Bass would have been available after pitching 1.1 IP yesterday.
      Seager beats you with 2 HR and 5 RBIs when he came in batting .156 BA / .499 OPS and 0 HR and 2 RBIs. But that stuff happens early in the season – people just start hitting – such as Carter….

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  12. And in what is obviously not a publicity stunt, since minor league baseball never resorts to those…the Sugar Land Skeeters just signed Tracy McGrady to start the season.

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  13. There are no guarantees when a guy is coming off surgery like Crain had. He could come back and be lights out……….or be worthless. I’ll hold my opinions until I see
    him close games with success.

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    • And the other part to guarantees – Jesse Crain is 31 years old and been in 532 games and only has 4 more saves than I do. It does not mean he can’t do it – but he has never been the 9th inning guy in his whole career.

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  14. WOW! How much did Luhnow pay him to sign?? Did NOT know he was not
    a closer!! Now…….that puts a new spin on him coming back from surgery.

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    • Well – he would seem to have closer stats when you look at his strikeout rate and other stats. Hey, Veras had never been the main closer and did a decent job. Sometimes it is just a matter of opportunity.

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  15. (Posted this in wrong spot, sorry for the dupe)

    Chip on the Lastros somehow becoming buyers by the break:

    WHAT HE SAID: “If the right deal comes along in a couple of months, there is no reason the Astros should not be a buyer. Not talking about an over-the-hill retread for a stretch run type of player, but a player that fits into the mix for the future….”

    WHAT HE MEANT: “It’s been so darn long since the Lastros showed anything to get excited about, that I’ve developed this delusional pipe dream that Crane will miraculously become generous enough to pursue legit ML talent with payroll dollars that don’t exist….”

    Hello, “no reason”? Lack of money IS a good reason!

    My take: Crane will not miraculously become generous and spend money that he doesn’t have.

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    • All I can say is that even though there was no TV deal in place – the team is spending a $20+ million more than last season. Crane did not say that without a TV deal that the payroll had to stay as it was. I would hope that if there is a deal that makes sense relative to what positions are coming up from below and relative to obtaining someone who will help us over time that it will happen.

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      • Spending $20mil more than last year means zilch if you 1) STILL have a team that blows, and 2) STILL have the lowest payroll in all of baseball. Next.

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  16. Sorry – Bo – but spending more money does matter – because if Crane was pure greed – he could have kept last season’s payroll in place forever. If that is all that matters why spend $44 million instead of $22 million

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  17. If the guy was the subhuman with 666 stitched across his forehead and with liquid gold coursing through his veins instead of blood – why would he spend above the $22 million he spent last season? He certainly is not going to pull in any more fans with Feldman, Fowler, Qualls, Albers or Crain (except for family members for the guys from Texas). Bringing these guys on is not going to be the magic move to get the TV deal completed. So for what purpose would the scurvious greed-meister have for spending a dime more than he did last season?
    And I’m sure you have no answer for that question.

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    • Im tired of beating the same dead horse. Crane wants to do one of three things:
      1. Play owner for fun
      2. Increase team value so he can sell for a profit down the road
      3. Try to win a championship

      There were no star players coming to HOU for fair market contracts last offseason. If Springer succeeds and Singleton gets a positive cup of coffee (at the least) you will see some interest. Until the Luhnow plan (w assist from Ed Wade trades) gets momentum at the MLB level its just baseless accusations that he is not going to try to do #2 or #3 above. Neither happen with a AAAA roster.

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    • Probably because he HAD to to avoid major backlash from the rest of the owners he is/was sponging off? Even with a roster at $44mil, he’s under scrutiny from his peers.

      Did you notice what Crane said about Robinson Cano? Sure, you downplayed it saying that the contract is too phat, and you might be right. But you may have missed the point.

      No TV deal means no phat contracts to come. This team will NOT be buyers at the break. Bank on it.

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  18. Devin – yes we are playing Oakland again – after all they are our long time divisional and geographical rival running all the way back to 2013.

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    • It was a day game and at least some of us work and most would not get to see it anyway. No telling if it was good pitching or bad hitting.

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  19. Bo,

    I have read on here many times your description of Crane as greedy, crooked etc. but have never seen any facts stated by you to back it up. Im not saying there arent any, but if there are lets see them. And no general statements like war profiteer etc. show some facts, verifiable facts. Otherwise i will wonder if maybe he just stole your girlfriend or something. You’ve shown good and insightful baseball knowledge on occasion which i appreciate, but your Crane rants grow tiresome without some backup. No offense meant but as they say, put up or……

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    • Hold on a second! Being a war profiteer matters!! What kind of snake puts troops in harm’s way to run empty convoys, bill against these convoys fraudulently (100s of millions of dollars, by the way), and then pass the buck when charges were filed?

      Your charming man, that’s who.

      The FOUR judgments against Crane’s company to this regard IS ample evidence, indeed. Sorry. You can’t downplay this one.

      And the discrimination settlements awarded against his company, if not mistaken, numbers in the thousands. THOUSANDS! (Look it up. Could it really be that high of a number??)

      The point is this: he dicks people over at every possible turn. The fallout in Houston is self-evident from the lack of market demand for his crappy product. He is not, and will never be, a good steward of this franchise.

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      • again please cite facts that can be verified and the places to look for them. if you know all this stuff you know where the facts can be found.

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      • These judgments and settlements are a matter of public record. Please do your own research.

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      • Rj – Bo can be factual on baseball stuff – but when it comes to Mr. Crane he is over the moon crazed

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      • Crazed, you say? The funny thing is most everything predicted regarding Mr. Crane, and the fate of the team, has come true.

        The ongoing reminder is “ongoing mediocrity”. Put that in you cranium, please.

        Too bad you won’t see this reality for another 5 years or so. By then, you’ll realize that a few upstart (translate: cheap) ballplayers and a paltry payroll won’t be NEARLY ENOUGH to compete in the AL West.

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    • I will say this – I have worked in environments where companies are trying to meet all federal government regulations and struggling to do so. Sometimes the government people involved give orders to do certain things and then mysteriously leave you to hang on stuff.
      What I’m saying is do not ever believe anything the government says about individual people or companies.

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  20. what i have found so far bo is 203 cases upheld, shameful but a far cry from the thousands you report. In 2006 Eagle paid $4million to settle a civil suit brought by the Department of Justice alleging that the company had inflated the cost of military shipments to Iraq, allegedly adding $0.50 per kilogram of freight from Dubai to Baghdad. no troops in harms way, no injuries or deaths to US soldiers incurred. now i dont condone any of this. but i do wish you would provide links to your facts when you have them. you seem to tend to hyperbole when it comes to Crane. Compare to Haliburton , Blackwater and many more. What we want to talk about here is baseball.

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