What they said and what they really meant

by Dan Peschong

Based on popular demand (Chip asked me to do it and he is pretty popular – plus it is his blog and he can demand anything) – I am re-visiting a little feature called “What they said / What they meant”.  There will be an actual quote from a person in the Astros organization followed by my translation into real English. All of the quotes have been pulled from chron.com (spit!).

Bo Porter after the Marlins outhit (18-3) and outscored (8-1) the Astros.

  • What he said – “I felt like the at-bats were good at-bats at times. There were some at-bats where we really expanded the zone. And there were other at-bats where it seemed like we weren’t patient enough to get a good pitch to hit given the situation.”
  • What he meant – “The guys were in mid-season form – unfortunately in mid-season last year they stunk. I’m just happy you didn’t ask me about the pitching.”

Jeff Luhnow talking about how the international pool of money for the Astros will shrink when they have the best team in the majors in five seasons…

  • What he said:  “Five years from now, when we have the lowest pool, we may think differently. But for right now, that’s our strategy (to stay within the pool limits). We know what everybody else is doing, or at least we try and find out as much as we can about what everybody else is doing, because it informs our tactics as well.”
  • What he meant:  I sure hope the Cardinals are watching this interview and can tell I am signalling by blinking my eyes in Morse Code.  “Please take me back – you can give me a pay cut – make me a wandering minor league advisor – anything – but please take me back.”

Dallas Keuchel after giving up 13 hits and 7 runs in 4 IP against the Marlins

  • What he said – “For sure, for sure,” he said when asked if his velocity was down. “Obviously I could tell throwing the fastball (for) the guys it was just like a beach ball coming up there today. But I’m not really too worried about velocity at this point right now. Now if it was late April, May I’d be kind of worried.”
  • What he meant – “Come on guys, I’m in a death fight for the 5th spot in the worst rotation in the majors and I put up this stinker. I faced 25 guys and 13 get hits. Now they will all be asking me about my elbow and shoulder everytime I warm up. Damn!”

Bo Porter talking about a meet and greet with members of the Owner group

  • What he said – “It was just a meet-and-greet. It wasn’t like a formal meeting when any particular person was talking. It was good to have all of our staff there and some members of the ownership group there. They had questions about spring training and the season. It was exciting.”
  • What he meant – “Yes there is nothing more exciting than talking to a bunch of rich white guys who think they know my job better than I do. I feel like a Yugo salesman. I wish I could say, yes, the team sucks – you get what you pay for, Jack.”

Jerome Williams

  • What he said – “I always say I would love to start, but like I’ve said before, it doesn’t matter what the situation is. As long as I go out there and help the team win in any way possible, whether it’s starting or relieving, I’ll do it.”
  • What he meant – “Hey, I’m listed as 6′-3″ and 240 lbs and that was probably 20 or 30 lbs ago. I’ve thrown more than a 1000 innings in the minors and more than 700 up in the majors and believe me the food and the per diem are 10 times better up here. You can have me start games, end games or anywhere in between – whatever you want – just keep me up in the Big Show.”

Brett Oberholtzer after facing the minor leaguers in the morning rather than the Braves in a rain shortened afternoon game

  • What he said – “I was getting a lot of swings and misses.  That was a positive note regardless of if they’re minor-leaguers or not. I don’t think anybody got the ball in the outfield, which is a plus. Continued to work on my off-speed, which was a plus. And my fastball had good life. I was pretty happy.”
  • What he meant – “Totally torn on this – yes, I’m glad I pitched well – but it is the kind of outing that could only hurt you and never help you.  Of course, I could have pitched against the Braves and had my head handed to me. So – it was better than kissing my sister, but not a whole lot better.”

Bonus Quote – Audience Participation – I’ll let you loyal readers take a shot at interpreting what Jim Crane meant in this quote from before Comcast backed out of buying/supporting CSN.

  • What he said – “Last I heard there was supposed to be something coming down this week on an offer. From our knowledge, we think Comcast is going to make an offer to either lend the network some more money to proceed, or put an offer out to both teams.”
  • What he meant – (Your interpretation……)
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22 responses to “What they said and what they really meant”

  1. What Crane meant: ” I thought quicksand had a bottom, so I brought this piece of PVC with me left over from redoing those signs out in left field. I’m still sinkin Anybody seen Luhnow?”

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  2. Crane meant: “All I did was kick this little hornet’s nest. Now these chingaderas are stinging me all over. That is not fair. I think I will sue each and everyone of them.”

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    • Billy C – this is a slow pitch softball down the middle for Bo. He is certainly welcome to jump in and share his interpretation….

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      • Actually I am bored by the Astros spring training. There is nothing to get too excited about. Most all the many points/predictions I’ve made over the last couple years are coming to bear, but it’s no fun saying “told you so”.

        What’s fun is actually competing…. and that’s going to happen. Not now, not in 2016, and not in 2020. There is just not enough (comparitive) resources to get it done.

        If you want to see something exciting, check out NCAA wrestling on ESPN. Quarters and semis today, finals tomorrow.

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      • Actually I am bored by the Astros spring training. There is nothing to get too excited about. Most all the many points/predictions I’ve made over the last couple years are coming to bear, but it’s no fun saying “told you so”.

        What’s fun is actually competing…. and that’s NOT going to happen. Not now, not in 2016, and not in 2020. There is just not enough (comparitive) resources to get it done.

        If you want to see something exciting, check out NCAA wrestling on ESPN. Quarters and semis today, finals tomorrow.

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      • College athletics are big time right now (March madness) and college wrestling is a heck of a better sport than that soap opera steroid crap on “pro” wrestling.

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      • I agree on the boredom factor – we are not seeing any real promotions from the minors to this team.
        You will have every right to the I told you so line – but I know deep down you would rather not have to use it.

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  4. By the way – in reference to Astro 45’s chingadera reference above – I will admit I had to look it up. Even though I have lived in Texas for 42 of the last 50 years – I am just a poor Yankee gringo inside.
    Chingadera means piece of crap (or worse) in Mexican slang. I bet they used this some time during Breaking Bad – but I missed it.

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  5. The future is not now – Springer, Singleton, Appel, Correa, DeShields and Folty all re-assigned to minor league camp….

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      • Based on what they did in camp – the guys closest to the majors made no case for themselves. Springer and Singleton hit poorly. Appel has not pitched yet as he recovers from the appendectomy. Deshields didn’t hit a lick. Correa was OK – but hard to promote a 19 year old who has never been above A ball. If they were basing things on ST – Folty pitched excellently, but not in a lot of innings.

        Bottom line – Springer should not have had to earn a job in the spring – he should have been up last September and gone to camp relaxed with a job in his pocket. He is the one I feel worst for.

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      • Dan, what disappoints me is it just seems like a guarantee that we’ll see Springer in pinstripes if he achieves stardom. I’m hopeful (decisional?) That this is Luhnow’s way of priming the cannon for an unprecedented roster replacement in June.

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      • Devin – I guess the one thing I would say is that when free agency does come around – very rarely are teams outbidding the big guys for their own players. Usually the best road is to wrap them up before they get to that point. They tried that with Springer and it did not work. Maybe they are trying to send a message down the line – Springer did not sign the 7 year / $23 million deal and he did not make the squad – think about that when your time comes.
        Not maybe the best way to set up things with your players – but face it – on both sides – it is always about the money.

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  6. DanP, for every 100 Carlos Betrans, there is 1 Kent Hrbek. But if we ever have one, Hrbek will be so pissed, he will leave anyway. With this plan, you better be able to win the World Series with you oldest player under 32. And Yes, we all know it is about money, but dang, you still hate to see it.

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    • It took me a minute to decipher this Astro 45 – but yes, there are many more guys like Beltran (who leave for the biggest contract) than Hrbek (who stayed in Minnesota through thick and thin).
      Hey you can have some older guys you pick up a long the way – but perhaps they did not go from career cradle to grave in your organization.

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  7. Dan’s interpretation of Crane’s quote – “I wish I had stopped taking LSD before agreeing to buy this club. And now I know why that Comcast guy gave me some of Walter White’s blue meth”.

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